Personal Expectations: Do Yours Limit You? By Sandi Epstein Personal expectations are defined as the underlying assumptions we have about life. For example here are some: "I can't expect a six figure salary if I want to work part time." "I can't have a fulfilling job and focus on my family too." "I can't expect to have an intimate relationship with my spouse until the kids are older." Sound familiar? If you want to get rid of these false assumptions and have the life you want, then do a little creative problem solving. First, let me tell you a story about false assumptions. A successful MBA at a competitive investment bank made the choice to spend long hours at work and away from her children so she could win partnership. This went on for a couple years and when she was up for partner, she didn't get it. With great disappointment she went to her boss and asked to create a flex-time/part-time job with hours that allowed her to pursue the work she enjoyed at the bank while allowing her to spend more time with her children. A couple years go by and guess what happens - she gets partnership. What does this mean? 1. Raise the bar on your expectations 2. Define what you want with the input of your situation 3. Always remember to ask for what you want 4. Make it happen Step number 1 can be harder than we think. In order to raise the bar on your expectations you need to know what they are, and sometimes we have lived with our own expectations or societies expectations for so long that we don't even know we have them. Ask yourself right now: Is part of your life less than satisfactory? What assumptions keep you from changing the situation? Then commit yourself to brainstorming ways to overcome these false barriers. A personal coach, a friend or anyone not invested in the outcome can help you clearly define the assumptions and attack them. Also see: Setting boundaries at work and at home Find joy instead of stress in your balancing act Advice for finding work/life balance Sandi is a professional coach helping people to achieve their best in life.