Ask the Business Coach Joyce K. Reynolds is an expert Business Coach who works with CEOs, Sr. Execs, entrepreneurs and countless others providing knowledge, solutions, motivation and support that assist her clientele in successfully meeting workplace challenges. Find out more about Joyce's coaching practice. Conflicts at Work Question: When a co-worker is doing everything possible to discredit you and to even sabotage you - what can you do to stop it. This is after talking to your supervisor and being told that you are being paranoid. The working environment at this time is pretty miserable due to this problem -- what to do? Debra Answer: Unfortunately, your supervisor's denying the problem of sabotage in your workplace and trying to avoid the issue by positioning you as paranoid, is not an uncommon response. Author Judith Briles - who explored workplace sabotage in Woman to Woman 2000 - found that 75 percent of the 30-50,000 women surveyed had been "undermined" by another woman in the workplace. This fact should, at least, make your realize that you are not alone. Briles went on to say that fear, envy/jealousy and low self-esteem are some of the underlying causes of this kind of behavior. "Because women are usually lower on the corporate ladder than men, they feel more threatened in the workplace. They tend to strike out more at other women because they're more likely to have power over them," she says. In addition, lack of confidence further drives this negative workplace conduct causing women, in particular, to work against one another instead of working together. Increased job competition due to stressful economic times also accelerates negative workplace dynamics. So, what to do? As you've already tried unsuccessfully to discuss this insidious problem with your supervisor, we're going to back track in the process of developing a solution. Start by identifying - on paper - the things that genuinely fit the definition of sabotage: e.g. somebody deliberately taking credit for your work; having meetings in your area of expertise without including you; failing to give you messages; sharing confidential information about you; openly discrediting you. Make a complete list of these incidents so you, at the very least, know you are not being paranoid but have concrete reasons for suspecting that a co-worker is trying to undermine you. This will also allow you greater self-confidence as you begin taking corrective measures. Now that you've identified and acknowledged the extent of the problem, the next step is to develop a plan for productively confronting the offending co-worker. This might make you shudder. In fact, most women take great pains (literally) to avoid confrontation because it 'feels wrong.' But the more we sidestep this best initial response, the easier it is for the abuse to continue. Remember those who utilize this negative strategy as a way of protecting themselves on the job are always the least confident, secure people. They are bullies who harass those who will allow it. Once you remove yourself from that list, your destructive co-worker will have to find an alternate victim. Plan your strategy around changing your behavior. Prepare yourself - emotionally and factually - to calmly but firmly confront this individual out in the open at the moment the action is occurring or of your being made aware of it. In person, on the spot. Sound scary? Yes. But, not addressing this toxic behavior is like joining the 'conspiracy of silence' that allows it to continue. Your supervisor has already told you she will not help you. A spouse, your family or supportive friends can not fight this one for you. It's simply time to stand up for yourself and take action. So, take a deep breath and call your intimidating co-worker on her behavior. Evenly and professionally, state in no uncertain terms that it is unacceptable and will be confronted every time it occurs. Prove that this will be your way of addressing the problem by consistently following up if she doesn't get the message the first time. It won't take long for her to move on. Meanwhile, you'll have every right to start feeling like a million bucks. Also see: • Ask Joyce your workplace questions • More questions • One-on-one business coaching Disclaimer: The information in this column is intended to provide the reader with general ideas or concepts to be used as part of a broader base of knowledge they collect to determine their own best course of action and solutions most suitable for solving their workplace challenges. The information in this column is not guaranteed to be the appropriate solution for each individual.