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Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.
Bringing Child on Business TripsDamaria writes, "I travel through my work approx. one week out of each month. My employer is very child friendly, and foots the bill for my 4-year old daughter to accompany me, even though there is really no company policy regarding the issue. I am however unsure about the impact constant travel is having on her. Most of my friends think I'm lucky to be able to take her along with. My mother says pulling her out of creche each time I go on a business trip is disruptive on her routine, and that I'm taking on more than I should handle on these trips, especially as I have a helper. She also says traveling without my daughter will mature her and make her appreciate our time together. I'm never happy leaving her, as she refuses to sleep and waits for me until she starts crying from exhaustion. That makes her unmanageable for my helper too, and does not solve the problem. I'm a single mother, and my family lives out of town, so I can either take my daughter along on trips or leave her with the helper. "Answer: You are undoubtedly in a tough position as a single mom. Fortunately, your employer has been very supportive of your needs and has been generous to provide the opportunity for your daughter and a helper to accompany you on your once per month business trips. Your mother and other well intended people are giving you their opinion of what you 'should' be doing. Their concerns are in the right place. I encourage you to trust yourself, though, because you know what is best for you and your daughter. Some thoughts that come to mind for me... do you have a steady helper? If not, this could be contributing to the problem your daughter is having to adjusting while on a trip. Your 4-year old is in an unfamiliar place, in a different bed, with someone she may not be comfortable with. Having a steady caring person to look after her will help significantly both at home and on-the-road. Also, based on your daughter's age, I'd guess that she might be starting Kindergarten next year. If you chose to continue pulling her out to attend trips with you, how can you maintain consistency for her in school and minimize the disruptions to her routine and learning? If you chose to leave your daughter at home, both of you will need time to adjust to the frequent absences. Perhaps your mother can come stay with her during your travel time each month as a special treat. Again, having a steady loving caregiver can minimize problems here. As far as your job goes, if you like it and find it rewarding, you may have the opportunity to redesign it to minimize the need for travel, delegate more, or, do more of the business you do in-person on these trips utilizing technology and other sources. It seems your employer likes you, values your work, and respects work/life needs (otherwise it is doubtful that they'd incur the additional costs for your daughter's travel). Once you get clear on what will work best for you and your daughter, propose your plan to your employer. Fact is, your daughter has not been adjusting well to the trips and is experiencing difficulties going to sleep. Address the problems and find other ways that minimize the disruption for her.
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