Ask the Expert: Finding Balance

Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.

Deciding to further education

Maria writes, "I'm an impulsive American 31 year old with a high school education. Rather than attending university immediately after high school, I chose to go to Tokyo to work as a model that led me to work as a personality on TV and radio for eight years. I met my husband there and we have two children who are ages 6 and 7. I've been a stay home mother and haven't worked here in Rome since we came here 6 years ago. Now that the children have settled into school, I find myself wanting to work but I'd also like to further my education. I'd like a degree of some sort, but I haven't decided what. I'd like to do everything but I can't seem to start. I don't know what is stopping me. I'm not very consistent either."

Answer: I read in your letter that you're not sure what is stopping you from getting started. For me, it is quite clear. You lack consistency because you don't have a goal. You are feeling overwhelmed when you consider your options between furthering your education now that your kids are both in school and finding suitable employment. My recommendation to you would be to determine what your passions are. What do you really love doing? What has always brought a smile to your face? What aspect of the modeling and TV personality work did you really enjoy? What is the essence of what brought you joy in that work?

You must allow yourself to get real quiet from the inside when pondering these questions because the "but's" will keep coming out if you let them. For example, you may think that you've always loved being in front of the camera. Then the but's come in...."But, I can't do ____ again", "But I don't have______", "But, it's been too many years", etc. Think about how you could live your dream if you really truly wanted to.

There are a number of books available such as Richard Bolles's "What Color is My Parachute" that can help you determine the right path for you. Regardless of whether you return to school or pursue work (or both!), you'll be better off with a clear direction first. Working with a professional coach or career counselor can also help you achieve more clarity around what you want to do. tion for your promotion. In other words, don’t leave things open-ended and entirely in her power. Take care of your future by being clear that it is your intention to prove yourself to her - as you have to your past two bosses - and achieve your desired outcome based on proof that you deserve the promotion. Your presentation, your self-confidence and your direct aim at the goal you’ve set should be sufficient to prove your seriousness and gain the respect, attention and outcome this matter deserves.

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• If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email