Ask the Expert: Finding Balance

Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.

Deciding to Work or Stay at Home

Jennifer writes, "I recently decided to stop working to stay home and care for my soon to be 4 year old son. Although my husband makes a good salary, I left a $40,000 a year paycheck and we are feeling the pinch. I took a part-time job but felt like the work was beneath my level of experience and have since left the job. I am extremely torn about what to do. My stay at home mom friends say I am doing the right thing. My husband says I should do what I want. How do I figure out what is right for me? "

Answer: Only you know what is right for you. Others are offering you their opinion. You do not have to follow their advice (whether it's solicited for or not!)

One of the things that are helpful in making this major decison is a financial analysis. If your husband and you haven't done a financial analysis, here's a quick worksheet that may help that comes from my upcoming book, "Succeeding as a Super Busy Parent: Practical Tips for Balancing Work, Family and Personal Life".

TO WORK OR NOT TO WORK (AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN) FINANCIAL ANALYSIS

1. MONEY YOU FORFEIT
A. Income:  
  - Salary $__________
  - Bonus $__________
  - Others $__________
TOTAL DECREASE $__________
B. Cost of Benefits Replacement:
  - Medical Coverages $__________
  - Disability Insurance $__________
  - Life Insurance $__________
  - Retirement Plan Contributions $__________
  - Others $__________
TOTAL COST OF BENEFITS $__________


2. MONEY YOU SAVE
  - Taxes $__________
  - Transportation
(including fuel, maintenance, train, bus, etc.)		 $__________
  - Child Care Expenses $__________
  - Meals/Snacks Out $__________
  - Professional Wardrobe
(including purchases, dry cleaning. etc.)		 $__________
  - Hired Housekeeper $__________
  - Others $__________
TOTAL EXPENSES SAVED $__________
DECREASE IN INCOME $__________
+ BENEFITS EXPENSES $__________
= TOTAL DOLLARS LOST $__________
- EXPENSES SAVED $__________
= ACTUAL SHORTFALL $__________

Once you know whether or not you can afford the cut in salary, it's important to also look at other dimensions such as where you can derive your professional fulfillment, how some of your emotional needs will be satisfied and how you're willing to change your life to ease the transition. There are 2 books that I'd recommend you read: "How to Raise a Family on Less Than Two Incomes: The Complete Guide to Managing Your Money Better so you can Spend More Time with your Kids" by Denise Topolonicki (Broadway Books, 2001) and "Going Part-time: The Insider's Guide for Professional Women Who Want a Career and a Life" by Cindy Tolliver and Nancy Chambers (Avon Books, 1997). Keep asking yourself the question: "what's right for me?" and listen intently to the answers you get. If you like to write in a journal, this would be a great topic for you to write about so that you can get to your inner voice and trust your wisdom. Hope this helps you make the right decision for you!!

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• If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email