Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives. Decompress After Stressful Day at Work Jean writes, "My husband and I both have high-stress jobs. And I think sometimes we let the pressures of our day interfere with our family time. As our two boys are getting older, I think they are starting to notice. The other day my oldest said, 'Mom how come daddy never wants to play with us.' Typically when my husband gets home he just wants to kick back and relax. How can we develop more quality time together?" Answer: Many working moms and dads long to spend more time with their children, partner and friends. To give your family more quality time, you need to first redefine what family time means to you. With both you and your husband working at high-stress jobs and your kids getting older, it's important to take advantage of any ordinary moments you spend together during the normal course of a day. Begin making the best use of the time you do have together by taking pleasure and pride in the interactions you have with your children. Help your children feel as an integrated part of your life by involving them in your regular activities like grocery shopping, folding laundry, preparing meals, walking the dog, or even stapling together copies for work. Although everyone needs to decompress after a stressful day at work, you can try decompressing as a family by watching a special show on TV together, reading together, doing a puzzle, going for a walk, playing a game, or doing something that gives your children a comfortable time to talk if they feel like it. De-stressing before you arrive home is also critical. Easing the re-entry home from a hectic workday is extremely important for yourself and your family. Leave your stress where it originates. Don’t take work stress home or home stress to work, both are ineffective. Here's a list of tips that may help you and your husband de-compress after a stressful workday. Look over the list and choose a couple ideas to act on. You won't see any changes in behaviors without incorporating new routines and habits. Any of these tips will improve the transition between work and home if you are serious about de-compressing. Before you leave work for the day, make a list of the things you'll have to deal with tomorrow. Check in with your spouse before arriving home to see what kind of a day he had and discuss roles and expectations for the evening, and if an adjustment of responsibilities is necessary. Immediately upon entering your home, change from work clothes into clothes that help you feel more comfortable. Exercise for 15-30 minutes either by yourself or with family members that want to join in. Use your commute time as an opportunity to un-wind from the day. Meditate for at least 15 minutes. Take a small detour on your way home to alleviate traffic. If you take mass transit in a safe area, get off the bus/train one stop prior to your regular and walk the distance, if possible. Sit quietly and watch the news or read the newspaper while everyone re-acclimates into the home environment. Take a 15 minute shower or bath. Put out a healthy snack of cheese and crackers, fresh fruits, raw vegetables, etc. right away so you can relax and serve dinner later. Tune into your favorite music or inspirational tape. Lie down for 15-30 minutes and gently relax. As your family continues to grow and evolve, so will the individual needs and demands. Be flexible as to when you spend time together and how you convene as a family. Also see: • Ask Natalie a question • More Q&A • If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email