Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives. Household Chores Amy writes, "I have recently gone back to work full time leaving my husband to help in caring for our children ages 12 months, 28 months and 4 years. He is quite use to my doing all the cleaning and raising. Now that I've gone back to work I feel while he is home he should at least do the dishes and straiten the house before I come home just as I do once I am home and he has gone to work. How do I create a schedule that will balance fairly the responsibilities of daily chores such as: Emptying the diaper gennie Vacuum the floor after each meal Washing the dishes (we have no dishwasher) Laundry (we have an on site laundry facility) Making sure children clean up their toys. I really feel finding a balance will result in a clean orderly home and a happier relationship." Answer: You and your husband must sit down together and talk about the delineation of household responsibilities. Raising three children who are home, awake and playing for most of the day may be a new challenge for your husband. If you've previously done all of the tasks you listed, you'll need to be willing to truly give up some of them. You can show your husband how to do them but you must be willing to accept his differing methods and standards for completing the tasks, as well. If you continuously correct him or redo tasks which he's already completed, he'll eventually simply stop doing them. As you know, there are many tasks involved with running a home, keeping it clean and organized, and providing for your children's needs. Housework is the whole family's responsibility. If it's important for you to work, it's just as important for everyone to share the load of the chores. Realize that your husband is your partner---not a babysitter, caretaker, housekeeper, etc. He should have input during your discussion to best decide when and how tasks will be handled. Divvy up family demands in a way that is acceptable to everyone. Agree on your joint priorities for the environment you'd like to create at home and the rest will fall into place. Also see: • Ask Natalie a question • More Q&A • If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email