Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives. Juggling Many Hats Michelle writes, "My husband is in the navy and out to sea until September! I have 3 kids: 19 months, 9 months, and 5 years. I work full-time, and often find that I don't have much time for my kids or myself. How can I juggle some many hats at once?" Answer: Dear Michelle, Stop juggling and start managing! Juggling implies a life out of control, where anything can catastrophically drop at any time. Instead integrate the pieces of your life and create a formula for balancing work and the rest of your life that works for you. In some ways, your life resembles that of a single mom because your husband is out at sea for large spans of time. Develop routines and structures so that things work more effortlessly. Develop creative solutions as you approach the challenges of balancing your life. Build harmony in your life. If you're asking, where do I start, here are a few suggestions: Build a support network comprised of your spouse, children, other moms, relatives, friends, neighbors, caregivers, work colleagues and your community. Be clear on what kind of help you want from people and communicate it. Be willing to ask for and accept help even when the help you're receiving is not up to your standards. Always have a contingency plan as a fall back in case of illnesses or other emergencies. Also, establish clear limits and boundaries. You must decide what is and is not acceptable behavior from others. Boundaries serve as an imaginary line of protection that you draw around yourself with margins of space to add cushions of time and resources. Boundaries and limits define how you take charge of your time and space and get in touch with your feelings. They express the extent of your responsibilities and power and show others what you are willing to do or accept. Without limits it becomes very difficult to say "no" to requests and honor your own needs. Lastly, it's important to get organized and be flexible. Work smarter and not harder! Create a list of your priorities, and, once you're clear on what's truly important to you, you can begin saying no to everything else that doesn't fit right now. It's ok to give yourself permission to relax some of your standards that tinker on the brim of perfectionism. Forgive yourself when things don't get done exactly as your wanted them or in the timeline you expected. When you are home after working all day, although you are undoubtedly tired, muster up the energy to spend quality time with your family. Also see: • Ask Natalie a question • More Q&A • If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email