Ask the Expert: Finding Balance

Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.

Morning Chaos

Penny writes, "The mornings are the worst part of my day. It seems no matter what I try I can never get my kids and myself ready in time. So we are always running late to day care and work. And my youngest daughter cries everyday when I drop her off, making me feel awful all day. What can I do to have less stressful mornings?"

Answer: Mornings are a tumultuous time in many households with everyone rushing around to get ready and out the door. Unfortunately, this hurried frantic pace sets the tone for the rest of the day. When your morning activities run smoothly and you're out the door with ample time, it can make a significant difference the whole rest of the day. As you've experienced first-hand, how the morning starts can make or break the rest of your day for both you and your children.

Here are a couple of my favorite tips to help busy working parents manage the morning mayhem:

Prepare the night before so that most tasks are done already when you wake up in the morning. If possible, get up about a half hour sooner than you do now. This will allow you to move at a less hurried pace and give you some quiet time before the chaos.

You mentioned that your youngest daughter is in daycare. If she's around 4 she can begin getting up on her own with an alarm clock. If clothes are laid out the night before, she can probably even dress herself. Older children can share more of the responsibilities for getting things running smoothly so that everyone gets out the door on time without feeling crazed and stressed.

Don't attempt to do it all yourself--get everyone involved in the goal of having a more peaceful morning. It's even helpful and fun to make a game out of seeing who can get dressed first, finish eating, brush teeth, put on shoes and get in the car.

The fact that your daughter cries every morning when you leave her may be pointing to a different problem and it's worth looking into the suitability of that daycare for her. If she stops crying immediately after you leave and seems happy upon your return, rest assured she's fine and probably just having difficulty saying goodbye. In this case, work with your daycare provider to come up with some techniques that help your daughter transition and say goodbye. However, if upon further examination you find problems with the daycare, address the problems and find suitable solutions. If this is a new situation, give everyone time to adjust and adapt while you are consciously monitoring the possible issues underlying her crying.

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• If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email