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Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.
Time for YourselfDebi writes, "I'm so busy with work and with my kids that I never seem to have time for myself. How do other moms find time to do things like workout or go out to dinner with their girlfriends? It seems like ever since having kids my personal time is non-existent."Answer: You must make time for yourself a priority or you will never have it. Your self care is extremely important for your own perseverance and ability to be a productive employee, happy mother and self-satisfied. One of the things my clients have done to preserve time for themselves is to schedule what's important to them and put it on their calendar just like they would an appointment for a doctor's visit. To utilize your time more efficiently, you'll need to prioritize what's important to you and plan in advance. Planning magnifies time by providing direction and enhancing productivity. You'll also need to set specific goals. For instance, determine how often you want to go out to dinner with your girlfriends? What other activities do you miss doing? By being clear on what you identify as activities for your personal time, you can create a realistic goal that you can track. Eliminating time wasters from your life will give you more time for the activities you cherish. Become aware of how you spend your time and make adjustments as necessary to insure you have adequate time for the activities that nourish and support you. One of the things that has worked extremely well for me is that at the beginning of the year I made the commitment to myself that I would get together with a friend at least once per month. Each month I've been finding fun things to do with different friends and don't cancel my plans when other things come up. Instead, when my husband ended up having to work late, I called a babysitter to come watch the kids until he got home. I re-scheduled a morning get together to a lunch date the same day when a minor conflict arose. Find ways that work for you so that you can stick to your commitment to yourself. Determine how you want to spend your personal time. Create a plan that will help you block the time and make your arrangements. Have back-ups available for child care and be willing to go solo (or call a different friend) if a friend cancels. Sometimes when a friend cancels plans, I modify the plans a little and go anyway because I was looking forward to the time for me. Also, look for activities you can do for fun alone and with others, so that you have a multitude of ideas you look forward to doing. If you can't remember what you do for fun, spend a few minutes re-living your childhood and write out a list of 20 activities you've done in the past for fun and play. Make translations of what the very childlike activities can mean as a grown-up. For example, if you loved coloring; what can you do as an adult to feed your creativity?? Obviously, you can color in one of your kid's coloring books, but you can also enroll in a pottery class, paint, create collages, etc. to nurture your creative enjoyment. Bottom line, if you want time for you, you must make it a priority and commit to it! Best wishes, Coach Natalie
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