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Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.
Returning to WorkKim writes, "I recently got a divorce, and I have three children. I was home for twelve years taking care of the kids.Now I work forty hours a week, and life is hard. How can I make all these changes easier on my kids and myself? "Answer: Both you and your kids will need time to adjust. Decide what your top priorities are and focus your time and attention on them. Find ways to simplify your life and make it easier in the areas where you feel life is "hard". For instance, if life feels hard because there's no one else to count on, build a reliable support network with a variety of people you can turn to for help. Ask for and accept the help. Be sure to find ways to reciprocate and show your appreciation so that your relationships with others are not strained. You didn't mention the ages of your kids. If they are beyond toddlerhood, they can begin helping around the house and sharing in some of the household responsibilities. Teaching kids independence, responsibility and decision-making are skills that they can have for their lifetime, so don't feel guilty about insisting they pitch in. One solution some single working moms use is to hire an aupair or live-in nanny. This option provides flexible childcare that is often more affordable than you think. A live-in childcare provider can help you get the kids where they need to be, prepare meals, straighten up, etc. Although this doesn't work for everyone, it's an option to consider if you are willing to share your home and give up some of your privacy. Also, holding a family meeting to discuss must have's, wants and things/activities okay to eliminate may be useful if your kids are old enough to participate in the discussion. Often when children are a part of the decision-making they are less resistant. Although things are rough right now, realize they will improve. Keeping a positive attitude will help you get through this difficult period. Be proactive at anticipating and finding solutions to the problems and challenges you face. Being in control will help you feel less out of control.
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