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Scheduling and Time Management
Answer:
Truth...my own mother swears my brother, the youngest of 4 children just 7 years from top to bottom, cut all of his teeth on the dashboard of our 1973 Chrysler Duster. Remember, children were allowed in the front in those days. Apparently, he used to bite the dashboard to show his disdain for having to hit the road just one more time to pick up one of his 3 older sisters. Clearly, the family taxi has been in play for years on end with mothers on the frontline of scheduling chaos. Try these steps to tame your taxi time and find some peace for both yourself and your family.
Step 1: Limit your children to one extracurricular activity per semester. Call it what you will, but often the chaos we suffer is as a result of our own hand. How our children spend time is a direct response to where and when we schedule them. Plain and simple. Children need to understand that they are part of a family unit, where give and take is inevitable. Minimizing their choices is not removing them. It provides the opportunity to focus on a particular interest and excel to the best of their ability and it requires them to assess where they would really like to spend their energy. This is a great opportunity for them to learn how to prioritize. Choosing one thing over another doesn't mean they can't enjoy both, but simply that they can't accommodate both in the big picture of being part of a family.
Step 2: If limiting activities is not possible, accept the reality of the high achiever momentum and take control of your environment. First, let your children know that car time is down time. Turn off all cell phones, pagers, radios and game boys. Have a zero tolerance policy for outside stimulation of any kind. Next, make sure to have nutritious low-sugar snacks and water on hand so no one suffers from the on-the-go-don't-have-time-to-eat grouchiness. Then let the conversations unfold. You will be pleasantly surprised at how much you will learn from your children while on the road. For both children and adults alike, it can be much easier to talk if you aren't physically eye-to-eye, much like when talking on the phone. So while you drive, your teenager from the backseat might actually tell you about her emotional break up earlier that day because she's more comfortable looking out the window during the chat. Keep your demeanor open and casual, some days might be quiet, and others will surprise you. But recognize this time as a gift placing you alone with your family, focused on them.
Remember, children take clues from us all the time. How we handle ourselves in daily situations is reflected in our children's behavior. If you are stressed when you are on the afternoon shuffle, they'll sense it and get cranky too. They'll wonder why you are agitated, not knowing that you feel guilty about the lack of "quality" time. But therein lies the key! We've heard it a hundred times...quality time is what you make of it! We live in an unconventional world and chaos is the name of the game. Accept this fact about your life. Teach your children how to find time out in the midst of the mayhem and you will offer them skills to succeed throughout their lifetime. Knowing when to tune out, take a deep breath and listen to the rhythm of the ones you love is a skill mothers never lose. Use it lovingly and often!
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