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Scheduling and Time Management
Answer: Family life can benefit greatly from being considered a democracy, not an
dictatorship. You do not have to be held hostage to your children's
schedules. However, you must acknowledge that you are the gate-keeper and
your family is only as busy as your parenting style allows. If finding time
for yourself is your ultimate goal, try these steps to take charge of your
weekends.
STEP 1: Say no. It is that simple...and that hard. Anything social in your
weekend is optional and therefore you have to think of committing family
time as if you are spending money. Can you afford to add in a second
birthday party on that day when you are already attending one in the morning
and going to t-ball right after? Your kids probably won't make it through
all three events minus meltdown so why take the risk? Family comes first.
If a friend doesn't favor your choice, that's unfortunate but certainly not
your problem. Your goal is to make weekends positive for your family. The
second place you'll have to say no is to your children. Regardless of their
age, children can understand that each family member has needs and that if
you work as a group, they can be met. To do this, you may need to limit the
number of activities you allow them to pursue that impact weekend time.
Most parents enjoy being a part of their kids' activities and wouldn't miss
their events for the world. In fact, attending weekend activities is a
great way to insure focus on the kids in a supportive and fun way. But if
there are too many events to pick from, you've overscheduled and it is time to
scale back. Apply the rule of one activity per child that involves the
weekends and you'll likely find a bit of breathing room.
STEP 2: Schedule mom time. Work with your partner to find a time during the
weekend where you are free of any family obligations and take time for
yourself. Recognize that you might have to be very creative to do this.
For example, review your day planner for the next 4 weeks and if Friday
nights are always open, make that mom night where everyone knows that after
8:00 p.m., you're not available. Disappear into the bathroom for a long hot
bath, go out to Borders Books and get yourself a nice cup of tea and read,
or take in the latest movie at the theater...with popcorn of course! Or
perhaps evenings are too hard and you'll need to savor an early morning with
a quiet house. A cup of coffee alone with the weekend paper can do wonders
for the psyche, especially if you add in a gorgeous sunrise. The point is
you and your partner agree that without question, that time belongs to you.
And while you are at it, be sure to find a way to find the same personal time
for him as well.
Scheduling is always a challenge and it is truly ironic that we need to
schedule time to relax. But in today's busy society, working moms are hard
pressed to find natural windows that offer down time. So take the
initiative and make it happen for yourself each weekend. Those 48 hours are
a joy, not something you want to escape. Mothering is an honor so make a
positive statement to your children in how your structure your family's
time. You are your children's first and best role model and taking care of
yourself emotionally and physically will teach them that in order to be the
best parent, spouse, sister, friend, volunteer, and employee you can be,
your happiness starts from within. Problem solving 101! Good luck!
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