There's no one-way to tell your child she's adopted By Debbie Glasser Schenck Parents of adopted children often wonder whether there is a singular moment or specific way to share with their child the unique details of how they became a family. Issues regarding when and how to introduce adoption are intensely personal and very from family to family. However, many adoptive parents agree that there should not be a magical moment to introduce the issue of adoption to a child but to openly discuss your child's adoption from the moment she becomes part of your family, even if she seems too young to comprehend the concept. For example, when parents bring their infant home from the hospital, they can share with her, "We feel so lucky that we've adopted you and that we are a family." Even though an infant does not understand the words she is hearing now, she will gradually develop an understanding of her adoption as she grows. As children grow, they often ask a number of questions about the circumstances of their adoption. Common questions include: why were they placed for adoption, why their adoptive parents adopted them, and will they be able to meet their birth parents. There are no easy answers to those questions, and the responses will vary depending upon the circumstances of the adoption as well as the age of the child who is asking the questions. Moreover, you may not have all the answers. Listen to what your child is asking. Provide honest answers at a level that is consistent with your child's age. Lisa Math, an adoptive parent of a 2-year-old, expressed that her daughter's adoption has been something that she and her husband have introduced gradually from birth. For example, the Maths share age appropriate picture books about adopted children with their daughter. They want to normalize the adoptive experience and create a family environment that encourages discussion and questions as their daughter grows. There are a number of resources for adoptive families, including books and magazines about adoption for parents and children, Web sites and support groups for parents and children to share information and meet with other adoptive families. Math and her husband helped form an adoptive parents group that encourages friendships and support among adoptive families. She explained, "We felt a need to meet with other adoptive parents to discuss specific issues, identify resources and provide opportunities for the children to meet with other children with shared experiences. Maintain an open, honest atmosphere in the home. Provide age-appropriate information. Seek support when needed. And, ensure that your child receives the message that is important for all children to hear from birth, regardless of whether or not they were adopted. "We are a family and we feel so fortunate to have you in our lives." Debbie Glasser Schenck, Ph.D., is the director of Fanily Support Services at Nova Southeastern University.