Be nonjudgmental, encouraging about your children's choices By Debbie Glasser Schenck Q. My 3-year-old son loves to play with his older sister's toys. He plays with her dolls and her kitchen set. He likes to dress up in her clothing. I keep telling him that he is not a girl. I try to get him to play with more "boy" toys but he is not interested. A. From the moment a baby is born, many parents introduce their child to a number of culturally determined gender stereotypes. A baby girl is typically dressed in pink clothing with bows and lace. As she enters her toddler years, she is encouraged to play with dolls. A baby boy is dressed in blue. His room may be decorated in a sports theme. As he grows, he is often encouraged to be strong and play ball. Our society certainly sends strong messages about perceived differences between girls and boys. These messages can be confusing for parents who want to nurture each child's unique sense of self. If your goal is to promote a nonjudgmental environment that encourages your son to develop his unique personality and interests, refrain from labeling toys "girl or boy toys." It is not uncommon for boys to enjoy playing with dolls and girls to treasure their trucks and cars. Preschoolers are natural pretenders. When young children pretend, their goal is to explore new things, express their creativity and practice adult roles. Also, they are experimenting with their rapidly developing language, motor and social skills. Your son might enjoy playing with his sister's toys because he admires her and wants to be like her. Maybe he is acting out the role of being an older sibling and does this with the use of her "props." Or, perhaps her toys are simply more appealing to him right now. Encourage your soon to explore his environment without fear of being judged. You can help him "try on" other identities and roles by providing him with gender neutral dress-up clothing. For example, offer him firefighter hats, doctor and nurse's clothes, police officer gear and a chef's apron. Provide a variety of toys that are not specifically designated for girls or boys. Children's interests in toys and play themes often change over time. Boys who always enjoyed trucks and cars may experience a period where they prefer playing with kitchen toys. Girls may tie of their favored dolls and choose to play softball instead. Avoid making judgments about your child based on his interests. Instead, join in your son's play. Embrace his curiosity and encourage his creativity. Maintain an open and nurturing environment in which your son feels free to explore his world. Debbie Glasser Schenck, Ph.D., is the director of Fanily Support Services at Nova Southeastern University.