A BlueSuitMom Attends Her Son's College Graduation by Jorj Morgan It was yesterday that I waved goodbye as I watched him walk down an awning-covered sidewalk on his way to kindergarten. I beeped the car horn - he turned and waved. "Bye, Mom." he yelled. "Bye, Baby." I yelled back. Then, I drove off, tears streaming, knowing that I was doing the right thing. This first step to his independence was his first step away from me. Fast forward through the childhood memories. Grade school graduation where his teacher reminded my cuddly boy not to hug the principal too hard as he accepted his diploma. Teen years full of driving, terrific friends, studying - so busy. And me, standing in the driveway, waving bye, as he went off to parties and sporting events and action packed movies with Dad. Him, beeping the horn - waving back. "Bye, Mom." High school graduation, where he's the class president, winning awards and making plans to attend Northwestern University (fourteen hundred miles away from home). A furiously fast summer of goodbyes to friends and family and the start of a brilliant college career. His first trip home from school - me, at the airport, making an embarrassing scene by telling every total stranger that I encountered that my baby is coming home from college. Then, those goodbyes when it was time to return. "Bye, Mom." "Bye, Baby." Could it have gone by so fast? This summer, he graduates from college, having already accepted a terrific job in Washington, D.C., which he begins in just a few short weeks. (You know, if distance is the mark, this independence stuff really works……..) That's okay. I know that he needs to spread his wings before he eventually settles closer to home - at least I truly hope so. A few weeks before the ceremony, he calls with great news. He has been chosen to give the commencement speech on behalf of all of the graduating seniors. The subject that he will speak on is the role of the family in supporting the student through his college years. Early on, we decide that his grandparents must attend the ceremony, even though we know the trip will be hard on them. His brothers are prepared. I insist that they be decked in blue blazer finery - complete with the rash that will appear around their necks from the restraints of wearing a tie. His proud dad scouts every type of camera available from film to video to digital. Allen Funt, of Candid Camera fame, could take a few lessons from our Dad. The big evening arrives. Twenty-three thousand people fill the open-air stadium as the sun sets on four years of intense studies, academic relationships and heightened friendships. I am sitting with our family, in the preferred seating area (tickets arranged for by the kid), wearing my best bright blue suit when my cell phone rings. "Hey Mom - where are you guys? I'm up here - behind the scenes with binoculars." I look around and spot him on the mezzanine, waiting to come to the stage. I knock over two elderly people as I hop up and down waving until he sees me. "Oh, yeah. I see your blue suit. Watch me, mom. I think you'll like the speech." "Don't worry, I'm sure everyone will love it - don't be nervous," I say. Inside me, the butterflies are mounting on his behalf. "I'm not. Bye." He ends the call. Of course he's not nervous. He's him - a real grown person that I raised to be totally independent and able to handle all of these situations. It's me that's a mess. The pomp and circumstance is gorgeous. The other speakers, including a poet laureate, drone on. (Okay, maybe he had something to say - but I was waiting for the really important guy to speak.) Finally, my son walks to the podium. His talk is wonderful. He's calm, confident, and popular. His classmates roar in approval and bounce beach balls around as they cheer when he refers to their family relationships. He notes that this day is also his grandfather's seventy-fifth birthday. My father is sitting next to me. I pass him a tissue. The kid states out loud that he hopes his brothers are behaving themselves in the stands. They look at each other and adjust their ties. He then recognizes all grandparents by borrowing a quote from Isaac Newton, "If I have seen further, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants." The families are the shoulders that each student stands upon as they embark on their future. He thanks the moms and dads for all of the late night talks, extra spending money, and sacrifices that have allowed each graduate to take advantage of the many opportunities that the university has offered them. It is a brilliant speech. There isn't a dry eye in the place - certainly not mine. Grandpa and I are into our second packet of tissues. Dad pretends that he is still filming. The speech nears its end. He asks that each graduate stand up, turn towards their families, and offer a round of applause for everything that they have shared - especially the unconditional love and security. The whole place erupts. Students are applauding families. Families are applauding our most remarkable children who are becoming adults right in front of our weeping eyes. And then my son asks for, "Just one more thing." Heads turn toward him. The crowd quiets, the students return to their seats, the final breeze blows. He turns to the place where we are seated in the stadium. We are at least a half a football field away from each other. But, I see him most clearly. He continues, "I promised a particular person that if I was ever in a position like this, I would say something special to her………." "Hi Mom." Applause and laughter escape from the crowd. Congratulatory pats are placed on my shoulder. Those special words filter through millions of zooming memories - that little blonde headed boy saying bye as he's off to kindergarten, bye as he drives away in his first car, bye on his way back to college. And, now, hello as we start this new life path, together. I jump up - this time avoiding the two elderly people. (They knew by now that I am excitable!) I yell at the top of my lungs, as loud as I can, from a half a football field away……. "HI, BABY." And mean it from the bottom of my heart. Also see: More articles about parenting Jorj Morgan is the Director of Lifestyle Content for BlueSuitMom.com. Jorj has written numerous lifestyle articles and is in the process of publishing her first cookbook due in Spring 2001.