Kicking instead of clicking By Wendy Burt Do you feel your child spends too much time online? Today's kids have access to resources that their parents never dreamed of. But the same technology that allows doors to open can also cause your child harm. Sometimes you just need to reinvent offline play for your child. THE ALLURE OF COMPUTER GAMES Believe what you will, but the truth is that children do not always research giraffes and astronauts. Most computers are equipped with games and many children can, and will, spend an entire day playing them. Although many games help children develop hand- eye coordination, too much computer time can be harmful. Without a 24-hour monitoring process, even the most well-meaning parent who demands computer study time could be replacing television with an equally damaging surrogate. PORNOGRAPHY ON THE INTERNET Unfortunately, some of the resources to which children have access are unsuitable. Although blocks can be put on most online pornography, it is virtually impossible for parents to censor all inappropriate material. Not to mention that your child's friend down the street may still have access. Click here to find out about pornography filters LACK OF INTERACTION Much of today's technological play lacks many of the qualities of real play. A child who participates exclusively in technological play is being deprived of natural interaction. Emotionally, children need time with friends. This definition of "friends" does not include online correspondence with strangers, but rather to the physical presence of others with whom children learn to interact, share and react. Play is an important part of becoming human. It is through play that children learn valuable lessons that they carry on to adulthood. A child who sits at a computer all day is probably not experiencing the peer contact essential for emotional growth. Physically, children need exercise. A child who spends the majority of his or her waking hours at the computer is probably not receiving the benefits of 'old-fashioned' play. There is no running, no jumping, no appreciation of 'real' nature. Range of motion at the computer is limited to hand-eye coordination. Last but not least, children need mental stimulation. This is not to say that technological play is not mentally challenging. On the contrary. Chess against a computer is perhaps one of the most mentally challenging activities with which a child can be involved. However, problem solving and competition are perhaps both most effective when applied to real life as learned through real life interactions. Not to mention, that in an age where computers are dealing out three-dimensional demons and weapons of mass destruction, a child's imagination is sometimes limited to the creative capabilities of the software designer. CHANGING THE PATTERNS So what are parents to do to limit technological play? Obviously, monitoring every moment of your child's time on the computer or video game is not an option. Here are some logical alternatives to turn your kids onto "real life" play. Limit computer time. Unless your child is doing extensive research for schoolwork, limit computer time to a certain amount of time, say one hour after dinner. This will let your child know that you are serious about limited "online" time, while encouraging them to prioritize their computer needs. Encourage outside play. This doesn't mean forcing your daughter to try out for the basketball team or making your son build a snowman when it's 40 below zero. What it does mean is letting your kids have fun in the sprinkler, play hide and seek or go sledding. Stop worrying that they'll get dirty and be glad that they are healthy, active kids. Let friends stay over. Fridays and Saturday sleepovers can be a great outlet for "real" play. You may be surprised at how much time it frees up for you, especially on the nights that your child sleeps at someone else's house. Travel. Introduce your children to the outside world by taking them to new places. From across the globe to the next town's museum, show them that there's more to life than sitting in front of a screen. Let them see for themselves that the places they've researched online are even better in real life. Visit BlueSuitMom's travel section to let them explore other cities Become a cheerleader. Make an effort to attend your child's activities as much as possible. From tennis matches to cub scout meetings, your support will probably encourage your child to continue his or her participation in outside activities. Take an interest in your child's activities. If you can't actually go to the events, do your best to show an interest by asking questions and making encouraging comments. "I heard you scored six points in your game. I'm really proud of you" goes a long way if you are sincere. Put a block on adult material. Contact your local internet provider to get more information about blocking adult material, such as pornography. Make family time a priority. Make dinner a family "catch-up" time. Ask questions to encourage your child to share his or her day. Take the time to listen and be sincere in your comments. Don't let your child leave the table to go to his or her room until everyone is done. Have fun together. Plan family activities that everyone can enjoy. A Sunday hike, an afternoon at the zoo, a rainy day board game. Be sure to consider everyone's interest. A day at the quilt museum may be interesting to you and no one else. Always have a back up plan. Murphy's Law says if it requires sun, expect rain. Talk to your kids. Ask your child what they like about the computer so much. Listen for verbal cues such as "I can be myself in chat rooms" or "I don't have to think when I play video games". Although you should be cautious about reading into things too much, these could be signs of trouble adjusting or fitting in at school. Also see: Guidelines for online child safety Wendy Burt is a freelance writer based in Colorado.