Emotional Wellness Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com Should I return to work? Question: I have a 4-year-old and am pregnant again. I have done very well at my company, but now I find I am less enthusiastic about work and don't really want to return to work 2 mos. after I deliver. I feel very conflicted about job demands and being a good mother. How do I decide? Answer: You sound like your second pregnancy has caused an emotional shift toward focusing most of your energy on motherhood. I think it is vital for every woman to be aware of and honor her deepest needs and instincts. I suggest you take a few hours or even a day to really tune into how you are feeling and what you are thinking, and write it down. For example: I really want to be at home with the new baby, but we can't buy a new house next year if I don't work. Once you have gotten everything on paper, identify the themes or issues you see recurring. For example: Getting that new house seems to be the only reason I would want to keep working. We've been very focused on money. Finally, you need to IDENTIFY YOUR DEEPEST VALUES. Knowing what is really most important to you will help you make a decision that is right for you. For example: I value being with my family now more than having a new house, or having a new car every year. Living without as much money is not as important as my kids. Once you have acknowledged what values you want your life to fulfill, you will be ready to see all the different ways you can change your life. You may have to lower your standard of living a bit, work part-time, change careers, start a home business - the possibilities are endless. Alcoholics Anonymous tells people to "take the next RIGHT step and the future will take care of itself". This is very wise advice, and I hope it is useful to you. What is right for you may not be right for someone else, and that is just fine. Live a life without painful regrets and you will live a good one. "What's Holding You Back" by Linda Austin, MD, might be helpful for you. She has some sensible and compassionate thoughts on the tug between our children and our professional selves. Other Recent Questions: I just started a business, and I can't stop worrying I'm worried that my husband may be having an affair. How can I find out? Ask Mary your questions The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.