Ask the Expert Randy Prange is a business advisor and CEO of Insights, Inc., a nationally recognized strategic planning and business development firm. Friendship with Boss Q: Dear Randy, I began employment for a company in April of '01. In all my years work experience, I have never encountered a supervisor that wanted to become friendly. My husband was a bit apprehensive saying that it will later cause problems. Against his better judgment, I began to go on weekend shopping trips. Let the kids spend nights at each others houses and have lunch together everyday. Well I began to feel suffocated. At work, my supervisor stayed in my cubicle talking and laughing which resulted in me not being able to complete my work. The other employees felt as I received special treatment, and the supervisor's co-workers (other supervisors) looked at her in disgust. Finally I told her that we needed to just keep it professional because I felt crowded and she just doesn't get it. She gave me my evaluation on Friday and instead of doing my evaluation, she asked me if we could still hang out on the weekends and she understands that I don't wish to have nothing but a professional relationship at work but what about after work? I didn't quite know how to respond and to be quite honest, I don't know how to take her. I think she has become a little co-dependent which can be dangerous to the lively hood of my job if I don't comply with her wishes. What should I do? Vanessa A: You are quite correct in identifying your situation as "potentially hazardous" to your career. However, since you are in the stew already, let's see how you can migrate to a more comfortable situation. You were right in being up front with your boss. Obviously you handled it well because she has not reacted in a negative way. Rather than pushing her off again though, you may want to consider putting more distance between the personal and professional relationships as you move forward. If you do enjoy her company, certainly tell her, but always follow with the caveat that such a close relationship has often damaged other people's relationships, especially working relationships. You may want suggest that future get-togethers are planned with a little more space between them to ensure that "she won't get tired of your company" and you can both expand your personal experiences outside work so that you bring new insights to the job. Although she may say that's not a problem, remain firm in your conviction to space your time together at comfortable intervals. Many office friendships, even those with boss/employee, work out well. However, it takes diligence in managing the two components so that one does not dominate or interfere with the other. As the employee, the onus is on you to make sure the relationship works as it should. Don't take advantage of the friendship at work to gain favor or seek special privilege. You mentioned your peer group's envy. You may have to demonstrate that you work harder despite the friendship with the boss. Keep me posted on your progress! Best of luck to you! Randy Prange Also see: • "While in the process of interviewing for a new job, I found out I was a few weeks pregnant. At what point does it make sense for me to give them the good news?" Randy's advice • "My new boss is ten years younger than I am, not married and practically lives at work. I feel like he expects me to do the same. What should I do?" Randy's advice • Submit your questions for Randy Disclaimer: The information in this column is intended to provide the reader with general ideas or concepts to be used as part of a broader base of knowledge they collect to determine their own best course of action and solutions most suitable for solving their workplace challenges. The information in this column is not guaranteed to be the appropriate solution for each individual. The information provided is based on personal observations and experiences of the writer that have been garnered over years as a business manager, owner and executive business coach and counselor.