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Diary of a BlueSuitMom: Taking Risksby Maria Bailey I met an incredible woman today. She is one of those strangers you meet and bond with instantly. We've all had those experiences when you find yourself talking to a perfect stranger who suddenly feels like you've been girlfriends for a long time. This was the case today. I'll call her Cathy for the purposes of this entry. We met at a conference and instantly I admired her. As we began talking, we discovered that we had many things in common. Both of us had four children within four years each experiencing multiples, her with twins and me with an adoption quickly followed by giving birth. We each had obtained a special passion for parenting and providing other mom's with working knowledge largely as an outcome of our life experiences as mothers. Our passions had motivated each of us to begin companies that served mothers. We were both dedicated wives and mothers and our conversations moved from business issues to our everyday challenges of being a working mother. We shared ideas, laughs and compared the busy schedules. During every break between speakers we would take up where our conversation had left off. As I listened half-heartily to one of the conference speakers, I found my mind wondering from the Power Point presentation to the stylish clothes, designer jewelry and great figure Cathy possessed. I admired how well she presented herself in the presence of so many business professionals and how envious I was that she was able to build her company without the burden of having to bring home a paycheck. One of our conversations had revealed this fact. What I envied was not that she didn't have to work for money, but that she could follow her passion without the need to make money doing it. We had a great day together. Every break provided us another opportunity to get to know one another. And with each conversation, we found more and more similarities between us. But for all the commonalties we possessed there was one major difference. On more than one occasion during our day together, Cathy had asked me the question that so many other women I've met has asked me, "How did you do it? How have you managed to do the things you've done personally and professionally? " I can't tell you how many times a week someone asks me this same question. The funny thing is, most of the time, the same people asking me, "How do you do it?" are the same people I admire from afar As another speaker approached the podium, I took my seat before answering Cathy's question. But it seemed to stick on my brain. Why did Cathy ask me "How I did it?" when she had achieved so much success herself. Seemed ironic since only minutes before I had been daydreaming about what it was like to walk in her shoes. I ponder the question for a while and realized that what the question being asked by Cathy and the many other successful women I meet was not actually the way it sounded. Each one of the them possess the same or similar skills "to do it." What they really want to know is how I found the courage to take the risk to follow my dreams. Whether it's starting your own company or running a marathon, finding the courage to try is how you do it. My favorite saying is found at the end of a runner magazine and goes something like this, "The challenge of running a marathon is not thinking you can run 26.2 miles but the courage to try." What sets some successful women apart from others? The fear of taking a risk and the belief in themselves to do it. There is a big difference in self-confidence and the belief that you can go out and do it on your own. The fear of taking risks is the same fear that holds talented women in the same positions for ten and twenty years. It's the same lack of confidence that keeps us from leaving the security of a big paycheck and building a career we love. Unfortunately it's not a characteristic most women come by naturally. You can see evidence of it in a many behaviors women exhibit. Why do you think women are more likely than men to invest in blue chip stocks and mutual funds? Aversion to risk and confidence in their decision making process as it pertains to themselves. Sure it's easy to make decisions on the budget of a major corporation or about the marketing strategy for a new brand. When it comes to ourselves, we forget the successes our decisions have brought to others. It's not until an event in our life forces us to do so will we take a risk to benefit ourselves. Many successful female entrepreneurs fell into success after they experienced corporate downsizing and were forced to a new job. The courage to take risks in life comes from your heart. I know it sounds corny, but who would take a change on something they weren't truly passionate about? I was passionate about helping myself and other executive mothers obtain work and family balance so I took the risk to find the tools and information to do this. I wish more women would find the courage to follow their heart. I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to meet so many talented women. I like to think that each one touches my life in some small way, just as Cathy touched mine today. I am happy for these experiences, but saddened that their lack of courage will prevent many others from being touched by their talents. As Cathy and I allowed each other to cross over the invisible line from stranger to friend, we revealed more and more of our true selves. We shared our dreams, our disappointments and our feelings about success. And the more I learned the more incredible I thought she was. And as the day ended and we parted ways, I felt like I'd made a good friend. I knew we'd see each other again. She was someone I wanted to get to know and someone I hope to work with in the future. She was a really incredible person.
Also see: Email me your comments at maria@bluesuitmom.com. Or you can share your working mom stories with other moms on our message boards.
Maria Bailey is the mother of four children and the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com
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