Emotional Wellness Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com Too much stress Question: Both of my parents are in the late 70s and I've been taking care of them recently in addition to working fulltime and raising my two boys. I'm feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. What can I do to get some relief? - Susie Answer: The simple answer to getting some relief is just to do less! That's easier said than done, I know. You didn't tell me how old your boys are, if you are married, or if your parents are ill or disabled, so I am going on the assumption that your boys are teens, you are a single parent, and your parents are mildly disabled. To begin with your parents, let's find other sources of help for them. Do you have siblings? They need to be involved with your parents as much as you are. If you are IT, look into services for seniors in your community - transportation, meals on wheels, home health care, cleaning and maintenence, etc. If your parents have a limited income, many of these services are available on a sliding scale or free. You may also want to look at whether you need to set some limits with your parents (or with yourself!). Are you taking on more than you really need to? Are you allowing your parents to be overly demanding of you? Is it hard for you to say no even when it is reasonable and appropriate to say no? You may want to talk with a geriatric specialist about your parents or look into a support group for children of aging parents. Are your boys taking responsibility for themselves as appropriate for their ages? For instance, a 13 year old can do his own laundry, clean part of the house, and do some minor cooking as necessary. Do they have many after school activities that have you driving everywhere? Have them cut down or arrange for other parents to get them to and from practice, etc. If you do have a partner living with you, is he or she taking on part of the load? If not, you need to correct this. If it is hard for you to take stands with your family, or to delegate responsibility, perhaps a few sessions with a counselor would be useful. If your eating or sleeping patterns have changed because of the stress you are under, consult your doctor to make sure no medical issues are involved. Also, make sure you get a little exercise every day (even just 15 minutes) and do something you find relaxing and refreshing every week. Lunch with a supportive friend, a massage, reconnecting with Nature, are a few options. What I am really asking you to do is to look objectively at what is going on, explore resources, and apply some discipline and limit-setting to the situation. Remember, if you collapse, you can't help anybody. If guilt and anxiety are overwhelming you, find a supportive therapist to help you deal with your feelings effectively. Good luck! Mary Symmes Other Recent Questions: I can't decide if I should go back to work after I have a baby or not. Any advice? I'm worried that my husband may be having an affair. How can I find out? Ask Mary your questions The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.