Emotional Wellness Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com Dealing with Tension Headaches Question: I've been a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) for the past 4 years. Prior to that I had a 12 year career with a leading financial institution. I will be returning to the position shortly. When I left I was dealing with daily migraines. As soon as I gave my notice the migraines stopped. They started to come back occasionaly at about year 3 (I'm thinking that's when the money started to run out) Now at year 4 I don't have them daily but they are more frequent. I'm afraid that they will start to come back daily when I start full time work again. My kids are 6 and 10. Dh is a wonderful support. So on the one hand I don't think it will be as stressful but then again it's an hour commute in the a.m. and an hour in the p.m. What can I do to ensure I don't fall back into the daily migraine trap? Dink Answer: Dear Dink, You have an interesting situation in that your headaches are so clearly related to the tension level in your life. First, I would guess that your headaches aren't classic migraines but are really bad tension headaches, which can sort of evolve into migraines. What does your neurologist say? Second, since you know that the job is very stressful and has negative effects on you, why are you going back to it? I don't mean to be smart about it, but it seems to me that it is almost inevitable that the headaches will begin again. Are there no other jobs closer to you? An hour commute each way is torture, especially when you have a young child. Could you do any telecommuting, or go back part-time? Do you really like this job or are you going back to it only for the money? If so, do you need to make that much money, or are there ways you could lower your expenses so you manage on less money? I realize these questions all raise difficult issues and ask you to make difficult decisions. It seems a really good idea for you to talk with someone objective about alternatives to the job situation that left you so ill with headaches. Your quality of life with the commute, headache pain, and general tension, sounds like it will drop drastically if you return to the job. Since the job isn't going to change, what can you change about your situation? If you realistically have no other option but this job, then I advise again you to talk with a coach or therapist about ways to structure your day so that you can manage your stress better. Remember, this is your life, and you are the only one who can change it. Get some objective feedback to help you take charge! I wish you the very best. Other Recent Questions: Should I return to work after having a baby I'm worried that my husband may be having an affair. How can I find out? Ask Mary your questions The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.