Emotional Wellness Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com Aftermath of Layoffs Question: The company I work for laid off about 10% off the staff last month. Several of my friends lost their jobs. Every time I speak to them I feel guilty that I was kept on and they weren't. How can I get over this feeling? Katie Answer: Katie, your question really shows your caring and empathic nature! You are in a difficult situation, especially since the layoffs are so recent. I believe that the best thing to do is to talk about the problem, i.e. your discomfort at the changes in job status. So what I suggest is that you tell your friends you are feeling guilty AND ask them if they are harboring any negative feelings toward you. Hopefully they will feel able to level with you. Probably the worst you will hear is that one is somewhat envious of you, that he/she realizes the feeling is irrational, and will not let it affect your relationship. You might want to talk about your concern for their welfare, even offer to do what you can for them in terms of job leads and so on. Saying that you are there even if only to listen to their feelings would be very supportive. If, by chance, someone should be projecting anger or feelings of inadequacy onto you, and says or does something negative to you, remind yourself to not take it personally. Try not to react to their negativity and wish them well, even if you find you need to distance yourself for awhile. It is is important to keep reminding yourself that the layoffs were out of your hands, and that it is not your fault. In fact, many times a layoff can be the opportunity to take a new and satisfying career path. A door closing also means a door opening. You can be concerned and responsive to your friends' situations without taking RESPONSIBILITY for them. I hope some of this is helpful, and wish you the best. Other Recent Questions: I'm overwhelmed with the stress of caring for my parents and child I'm worried that my husband may be having an affair. How can I find out? Ask Mary your questions The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.