Emotional Wellness Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com Moving for a Spouse's Job Question: My husband's company would like him to take a job in the New England area. My husband can choose where he lives and Rhode Island would be a consideration. No one else in his company would take this job and they are pushing for him to take it to step up his career. They are saying it will be for two years, and then he can apply possibly for another job within the company. I have a one year old and my whole entire family and friends live here. I had such a hard time at college being alone and now I don't know if I can do it with a baby and my husband always traveling. Could you please give me some advice? Shannone Answer: Shannone, your question is one that many spouses face these days, and it is never an easy one to answer. You didn't mention where you live now, so let's assume you are in Dallas contemplating a move to Rhode Island. On the one hand, this job will help your husband's career. On the other hand, it will place you a long way away from family and friends. You say you had a hard time at college "being alone". Why was that? Did you ever end up making friends and feeling at home? Those are important questions because they will tell you something both about your personality and about the degree of separation from your family that you have achieved. In our culture there is an expectation that once you are adult, and especially when you are married and a parent, you should no longer need a lot of close contact with your family, especially parents. On the one hand, I agree with this idea, because in your situation your husband and baby should be more important to you than your family. On the other hand, I think that humans thrive in a situation where they are close to family and have many connections in the environment. Many of us end up isolated and lonely because of frequent moves. From what you say, it sounds if you have more than average difficulty adjusting to new situations. It is a problem only if it limits your functioning in life. Most people do not welcome the thought of a move but are able to go ahead and deal with it if necessary. Do you see your reaction to this move as self-limiting or not? A counselor might help you look at the situation objectively. How much will your husband be traveling? If he will be gone more than half the time, it might make sense for you to stay where you are and have him commute on weekends. Finally, if you live relatively close to Rhode Island, could you move somewhere between there and where you are now? Travel of an hour or less for him to reach work and for you to reach your family might be a viable option. Sit down with your husband and brainstorm. Discuss your feelings and reservations. Use an objective third party for feedback! And remember, there are some wonderful people out there, just waiting to be friends with you! Mary Symmes Other Recent Questions: I can't decide if I should go back to work after I have a baby or not. Any advice? I'm worried that my husband may be having an affair. How can I find out? Ask Mary your questions The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.