Emotional Wellness Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com Getting Involved in the Community Question: I recently moved in a new development and I am one of the only working mothers. All the moms are friendly & get together with their children during the day & after school. Of course, my children & I are left out. I really don't mind for myself but feel horrible for the kids. How can I help my children & myself to become part of this little community while I'm at work everyday? The girl scout troops are full, I can't even get her in a CCD class. I have to home school for her religion. - MD Answer: MD, I think one of the best things you can do in this situation is ask the stay-at-home moms for help/ideas in getting your kids connected, especially with things like scouts. They do have access to the networks and inside information about what neighborhood kids are up to, and most people respond well to respectful inquiries about their expertise. I would also suggest that you have a get-together of neighborhood kids periodically. Invite them for a cookout, or to make cookies, or whatever appeals to you, as a way to get your kids more integrated with them. If you make it fun to be at your house, they will want to come over and spend time with your kids. Would your kids' teachers be a source of info on how to get them involved in activities? Could you get some help in starting a new scout group, or sponsor a school-related activity? It would also be useful to get together with some or all of the moms with kids in your kids' age group. Invite them all over for dessert one night, or for coffee and cookies on a Sunday afternoon. Are there neighborhood activities you can join in, like a clean-up, babysitting coop, garden club, etc.? You can meet a lot of people that way. I think the important thing is to defer to the moms as experts on kids and the neighborhood, and to show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know them. And it is always important to ask for what you want - how else will people know? Since this is the holiday season, what about you and the kids making or buying something good to eat and dropping it off at each home where you would like to make a connection? You could do it as a New Year's token. You may well be invited in, and could certainly suggest getting together another time. Good luck, and don't take any lack of interest on their part personally - it's all just part of being new in an established group! î Mary Symmes Other Recent Questions: I can't decide if I should go back to work after I have a baby or not. Any advice? I'm worried that my husband may be having an affair. How can I find out? Ask Mary your questions The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.