Emotional Wellness Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com Returning to Work and Post-partum Depression Question: I have a 6 month old daughter and have gone back to work. Even though in my county I am allowed to have two years off to take care of my baby. This is because I work for a non-profit and its life depends on me and if I don't work now, chances are I will not have a job to come to a couple of years from now. I feel it's my responsibility to do this since the non profit sector is just beginning to progress after a long 45 years of communist regime. I feel awful about this choice, and yet I see no alternative. I have my daughter babysat by her grandma and find that she has responds much better to her now. And it hurts so much. I am wondering whether this means that I will ever have a normal relationship with her if I don't spend enough time with her now. I find I have trouble falling asleep and spend lots of time crying and feeling empty and keep worrying that ours might develop into a relationship similar to that I have with my mother - where she buys stuff for me and thinks she's proven her love and I expect her understanding and appreciation... could you please let me know if I should worry about losing my daughter for good and whether my feelings may be a sing of post partum depression? I. Answer: What a difficult situation you are in! You believe that you are necessary to the survival of your non-profit organization, but long to be with your daughter (and you are necessary to her survival, too). You describe a distant, painful relationship with your mother that you fear recreating with your daughter. And yes, it does sound like you have symptoms of postpartum depression. To my mind, children are more important than any other obligation we take on in life. Your instincts are telling you now to spend more time with your daughter, and they is important for you to acknowledge. I don't know what happened to interfere with your normal attachment to your mother, but I do believe that maternal absence can affect the growth of a confident bond between mother and child. Also, clearly, your baby missed you as much as you missed her. I wonder if there is a compromise for you between work and motherhood. Even though your work is very important to you, could you perhaps only do it part-time? Could you delegate your less important responsibilities to others? In the long run, our effect on our children lasts longer and is more important to society than any job we might do. I understand your frustration with and suspicion of doctors. In this country, also, many of them do not pay attention to the emotional part of the person, and I often question the way psychotropic drugs are used. But surely not every doctor in your country is like that! Are you able to look around for one who would be more sensitive to you as a person? That would certainly be worth the effort. Some of the signs of depression include hopelessness and exhaustion, and your note sounds like you are feeling both of those emotions. If it is just too much for you to look for better medical help, could you ask a friend or family to do it with you or for you? Again, I don't know how long you have been feeling so bad, but if it has been more than a month, and it is not getting better, you may well benefit from some antidepressant medicine. It will help you sleep, lessen your sadness, and get a better perspective on how you can help yourself and your baby. Please don't hesitate to get some help for yourself. I am concerned about what I hear from you. Are you feeling suicidal? If so, you need to see a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, right away. Suicide is a terrible legacy to leave a child. I hope that you understand that many women have felt and will feel the same way you do. The good news is that there is effective treatment available that WILL help you. Please take care of yourself so you can take care of your little girl. My best wishes to you. Other Recent Questions: I can't decide if I should go back to work after I have a baby or not. Any advice? I'm worried that my husband may be having an affair. How can I find out? Ask Mary your questions The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.