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Diary of a BlueSuitMom: When A Mom's Life Ends Too SoonBy Maria Bailey I attended a funeral today. I can't say that it was the funeral of a close friend but it was the funeral of someone I admired from afar and a fellow BlueSuitMom. Her name was Lynn and she was only 39 years old. She left behind a young daughter and a profession as an attorney that was complete with a long list of achievements. Although I never had the opportunity to know her well, I knew her well enough to know that she was a good mother, a hard worker and one of those women whose figure and looks you wished you had. Perhaps the reason I never took the time to get to know her better was she in some way intimidated me because she seemed to have it all. Just think how many great people we come in contact with through life but never take the time to know. As I sat quietly in the crowded church, I thought of her as a mother. Motherhood seems to be a bond that can quickly join any two women. Mothers know what it feels like to love another person unconditionally, to give until your strength gives out and to sacrifice even when you have little more to give. And as a mother, I'm sure you can feel the sorrow I felt thinking of all the school plays, t-ball games, driving lessons, and dates, Lynn would not get to experience physically with her daughter. And how many nights, her daughter would miss her mother's bedtime stories and kisses goodnight. Selfishly, none of us wants to leave our children ever. As a mother, I could not help but put myself in her shoes. I wondered what was on Lynn's mind as she drove to the grocery store where she would later die of a sudden heart attack. I wondered if she had a long list of "must gets" like I always have when I rush into the parking lot. Perhaps she was going to make a stop at the Target store next door to grab new socks for her daughter or a box of laundry detergent in order to finish the 3 loads waiting at home. Was she carrying her cell phone anticipating her office calling with a problem like I do so much of the time? My thoughts about my life as a mother, wife and professional flowed like a series of tidal waves. I listened as men and women stood and memorialized the life of Lynn. I marveled at how such a young woman had accomplished so much and still found time to develop relationships strong enough to fill a church. My thoughts drifted to my own eulogy. Would my children and family be proud of my life if it was suddenly ended today? How would my friends describe me? I suddenly felt challenged to be the better than I was yesterday as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend and professional colleague. I think we all want to be the best we can be but yet life's chores seem to get in the way. Life makes us forget sometimes what's really important. It's a human characteristic. But if we can force ourselves to stop every once in a while to reflect, we can regain balance. Two hours after entering the church, the funeral was over. Just in time for me to rush to pick up my two campers and relieve the baby's sitter. I'd call the office in the car just incase something important needed to be done. I'd return to my life. The only difference would be I would try to take with me some lesson from the day and apply it to my routines. As I darted out of the parking lot to retrieve my children on time, I realized how close Lynn and I really were. She'd understand what I was doing after all she was a mother too.
Also see: Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.
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