Ask the Expert Dr. Roni Leiderman, Associate Dean at The Family and School Center of Nova Southeastern University, is not only an expert on parenting issues but the working mother of two children. Shy Behavior Question: My daughter is four and a half now. She is a very jovial child and always mixed with people of any age. But now I find she is shy to talk to any guests at home. When she hears the bell she goes under the table. The known people who see her now says why she is not talking any more. When I ask her she says she is shy. But she plays with children of her age. Moreover she now has a tendency of making stories in the morning for not to go to school. When I ask the reason she says she misses me. Is this behavior common? - Baishali Answer: You describe your daughter as a "jovial" child who now appears to be quite shy and hesitant to leave you. At times, children do go through stages when they get more clingy and hesitant to converse with adults. Has your daughter gone through any significant changes in her life? Has there been a move? A new school?,etc. Talk with her classroom teacher. Once she goes to school does she appear happy? Does she participate in class? Does she have friends? Acknowledge your daughter's feelings. Let her know that you understand what she is experiencing. "I see that you feel shy when guests come to our house." At the same time, be careful not to create a situation where you draw too much attention to the situation by talking about it too often or discussing it with others in front of her. Do reinforce her efforts to be social. "You seemed to be having so much fun with your aunt today." If you find that the situation is not improving or seems to be getting worse, consider seeking professional support. Your school can direct you to a child psychologist who can work with your daughter and your family. Good luck! Dr. Roni Leiderman Other recently asked questions • My husband seems to think threatening our three year old daughter is the best way to get her to obey. Problem is that he normally caves and doesn’t follow through. How can I stop this? • My two-year old is beginning to turn everything into a negotiation, especially bedtime. What can I do? • More questions • Submit your questions