Ask the Expert Dr. Roni Leiderman, Associate Dean at The Family and School Center of Nova Southeastern University, is not only an expert on parenting issues but the working mother of two children. Giving 100% Question: Our 12-year-old son plays baseball and soccer. When he puts his mind to it, he does well. Sometimes he decides when he's out on the field that he won't try his hardest. If we question him, he either says so what or I was tired or something like that. He doesn't give 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. My husband says it's because we negatively disciplined him in his early years and now he is taking that negative to the playing field. Could this be the case and how can we change his attitude? Should we pull him from participation on the sports teams? But if we do that, he'll get even more immersed with Nintendo and Gameboy. - Maria Answer:It's hard to imagine any of us giving 100%, 100% of the time. Sports, school, and friendships all do take time and effort and your son is learning the consequences of giving less than 100%: the lessons that come with failures and the joys associated with success. Pulling him from his participation in soccer and baseball will take away the very experiences that are supporting him as he learns about life. As I don't know the details of your discipline approach with your son, it is difficult for me to address your question regarding its effects. I can, however, assure you that your son will ultimately benefit from the positive experiences associated with team sports. Instead of focusing on the times when he doesn't participate fully, consider encouraging him when he does make an effort. Statements like, "You really played a great game today" or "Wow! You hit that ball so hard!" go a long way and let your son know that you appreciate and validate his efforts as well as his successes. Watch your son and make sure that he doesn't seem unusually withdrawn or depressed, however. If he does, seek professional help by contacting your pediatrician or a child psychologist. In the meanwhile, enjoy these special years as your son learns about the rules of the game and the rules about life. Other recently asked questions • At what age should my daughter wear makeup? • How can I stop sibling rivalry? • Submit your questions