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Taking the time to hold a child's handBy Maria Bailey Have you ever taken the time to actually feel the touch of your child's hand as you hold hands together? I did this morning. What I rediscovered was just how wonderful it is. Although Morgan is my little ball of independence, she actually will take my hand every morning as we walk the sidewalk up to her school. Most mornings the experience of holding hands is lost among the rush to get the kids ready and get to work on time. By the time I get lunches into backpacks, brush four heads of hair, wash breakfast dishes and load kids into the appropriate cars, reaching the steps of Morgan's school is like being within steps of the finish line. Today however, I didn't feel like rushing, so I took a minute to appreciate the fact that Morgan would still hold my hand. My three older children would never be seen walking hand in hand into their class with me anymore. When I first became a mom, I thought for sure that I had eighteen years to enjoy all the joys motherhood provides. Sadly, I've learned that a mother truly only has until the time her baby learns to walk and then they just seem to keep walking away. It's up to us to try to catch up with them to savor a few more moments when they are dependent on us and believe our kisses really do cure boo-boos. Perhaps the reason I was in the mood to hold hands today was because Morgan learned to crawl out of her crib this weekend. I know what happens next ... I blink and she is going off to first grade. As we got out of the car this morning, I looked forward to taking her hand. I concentrated on every sensation of the experience and tried to engrave it into my memory. The feel of her skin is so soft. No calloused skin produced from years of ball throwing or washing dishes. There's plenty of time for that to come. Her hand is so small. It fits loosely in my hand and slides around in the extra space made by my closed fist. I begin to think about how fast this soft, small hand will grow. My heart starts longing for the days when I held her small hand in mine. A mother hurrying her daughter into the front door of the school interrupts my thoughts. As she whisks around us, she comments critically on how leisurely our children are strolling into the hallway. "They just don't rush, do they?" she adds. Still enjoying the feel of my daughter's touch, I smile and bite my tongue. What I wanted to say was, "No, they don't. It's not their job to rush." The interaction reminded me again of a sad reality of working mothers. It is our job to get to work on time, not our children's. Our choice to work and the challenges it presents are just that, our choice not the choice of our children. We cannot expect them to rise to the challenges we experience as grown-ups who have decided to work and balance a family. Just think about it. It took us 35-40 years to get to the point to be able to do it ourselves and there are times when I'm not sure I still do it well. How could we possibly expect a 2 year old to know how to rush? No, it's not their job to rush. It's their job to learn, love and grow. And like in any job, someone reaps the benefits of their efforts. Lucky for us as mothers, we are the ones who get to feel their love, help them learn and watch them grow. Take time this week to hold a hand and truly feel it because next week that hand will be even bigger. Share your thoughts on our message board or email Maria.
Also see: Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.
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