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Holiday TraditionsBy Maria Bailey While decorating our home for the holidays, I am reminded of the importance of family tradition and ritual. As my four young children unpack the ornaments for our Christmas tree, I say the all-too-familiar, "Be careful with that one!" and "Handle that one gently!" as I grasp for the falling glass items. Of course, my attempts to prevent an ornament fatality fail several times. And with each accidental shatter I sentimentally remember the history that went along with the piece. The piece that will now end its chronicle in the kitchen waste can. Thankfully, many ornaments do make it to the tree. Each one has its own special story attached to it. The small fabric candy canes stuffed with cotton balls that my mother and I sewed one Saturday when I was 6 years old. The pink baby booties that signifying my daughter's first Christmas. The wooden clothes pin soldiers, which my sister and I painted in our Brownie Troop 25 years ago. The angel, whose lights blew out long ago, is still destined for the top of the tree. Hanging these relics is a part of the Christmas traditions I have been reenacting for many years. Each time I retell the stories behind the ornaments with my children, I am doing my part in creating their traditions and rituals. As always, I think about what my children will learn from this annual event. The greatest benefit of tradition for our children is the importance of history and relationships in our lives. As parents, we are role models. Our children imitate our actions, beliefs and thoughts. When we look back on happy times with our families or recreate an experience we shared with our parents, it teaches them to appreciate life's simple times and look for those special moments in their own lives. It helps us also develop their relationships with and memories of family members who are not close by or who have left us. When my father died three years ago, my greatest source of grief was the fact that my children would never know him as I had known him. Their lives would be deprived of being touched by a man who had made such a positive impression on my own life. Yet describing to them how my father used to tie the tree to the windowpane to keep it standing straight, or hanging his favorite ornament on my tree, seems to bring him back to life not only for me but in the minds of my children as well. I now have come to realize that he will touch their lives through the stories I tell them each time we reenact one of my family's traditions or rituals. Another important element of traditions is the repetition of doing the same event over and over. Repetition is the greatest learning tool for a child. Ritual recreates an action and a message in the mind of your child over and over again. Children love repetition; it creates a sense of security in their lives. To feel secure, a child needs to feel that his world is predictable. A six-month-old baby who expects a bath and a bottle before bed and doesn't get them will demonstrate his confusion by not falling off to sleep immediately or by crying uncontrollably. Rituals create a greater sense of security and comfort in our children's lives, and this security will translate into well-adjusted, confident adults. Traditions and rituals don't have to be just for the holidays. Take a look at the things you do everyday. Even the simplest household chore can become a tradition. It might be playing basketball with dirty laundry as you sort colors and whites or slipping notes into a lunchbox. My children and I sing a silly song every time someone in the house wakes up grumpy. It's part of the rituals we're building together. Perhaps one day they will tell their children how ridiculous I looked dancing around in my pajamas just to make them laugh. I certainly hope so, and thinking about it makes me smile. Share your thoughts on our message board or email Maria.
Also see: Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.
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