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No more New Year's ResolutionsBy Maria Bailey I thought about setting a New Year's resolution last week but I didn't. Why? Mainly because I didn't want to set myself up for failure. Every year millions of people set unrealistic goals and then suffer the disappointment of not accomplishing them two or three weeks later. The other day, my five year old asked me "what's a resolution?" although the way he said it was, "what's a revolution?" You know, he might have had something there in his misuse of the word. It could be defined as a fight or war. I know that most of the resolutions I've made in the past have been goals I set and then fight to keep. Weight? I've been fighting that for years. Cut down on Diet Coke? It will be a cold day in Florida when that happens. I hope that last's night 35-degree temperature is not a sign from Heaven that it's time! Work less? I tried for a day last week. The definition I gave to my son about resolutions was that a resolution is something you can do to make you a better person. Later that day, I reflected on my response and decided that I would not set a resolution this year. Instead, I was going to focus on what makes me a good person. Understand please that my decision was not one made out of vanity. My thought process was that if I concentrated on what makes me a good person, I would identify my good traits and ultimately feel better about myself which would trigger a desire to continue to better myself by eating better, cussing less and minimizing the stress in my life. The end product would be a better me, a better wife, a better mom, a better friend and professional colleague. Focusing on the good things about yourself isn't as easy as you would think. In fact, it takes as much work as making a resolution to loose ten pounds. First you have to find quiet time, an element that disappeared from my life years ago. It's no wonder I run long distances. It's the only way for me to find time to think. So for the last week, I've been determined to find things I'm good at during the day. Guess what? I'm finding them in the strangest places. Just this morning I found one while making breakfast. I realized when I stopped long enough to think about it, that I can now make breakfast, load lunchboxes in backpacks and start a crock pot dinner in less than 8 minutes. Granted, it took me half a school year to get my time down, but I feel like I am definitely setting a personal record with my present time. To fully appreciate the accomplishment one must realize that making breakfast means toasting two waffles which both need to be cut, filling four cups of various juices and milk, making two peanut and butter sandwiches, one which is toasted and one not, distributing one bowl of mini wheats and wiping up at least one spill while asking for the Gameboy to be shut off so we can get to school on time. A morning doesn't go by that I am not thankful for my experience as a cook at McDonalds. I always wondered how making 6 hamburgers and 12 Big Macs at one time was going to pay off in my adult life. Little did I know. This morning I actually finished a class project and still got everyone to school on time. It wasn't an easy project either. I had to finish weaving a basket out of palm fronds for my kindergartener. Now, if you live anywhere other than Florida, you might not be able to relate to the dexterity it takes to weave palm fronds. And if you are looking at snow out your window right now, I know it will be hard to gain any sympathy for this one. But just let me bask in my accomplishment for a minute. Breakfast, palm frond basket and school on time! Already, I've discovered three things I'm good at. Okay, maybe palm from weaving is a stretch but I'll give myself an A for effort. And just imagine the lessons I taught my children in trying to imitate the skills of a Seminole Indian at the breakfast table. There's another one. I'm a good teacher. Everyday I teach my children something and if I stretched it a little, I bet I can find a time in my day when I teach my co-workers a thing or two. I was reminded last night about how I teach my children. My first grade son proudly showed me an award he earned at school yesterday. It simply said AWARD so I asked him why he received it. He explained that it was because he had gone above and beyond the assignment the night before. Turns out that the extra research I made him do on the Internet the night before had been recognized by his teacher. "Mom, I know what 'above and beyond' means now," he said, "No one else brought in any information, they only found the answer to the question. It means doing more than someone asks you to do and trying real hard." Apparently I even teach when I don't know that I am teaching. Not only did my son learn an important lesson but also he even remembered it the next morning. You see, while I was weaving the palm frond basket this morning, I heard my son tell the others, " Look, mom is going above and beyond just making breakfast this morning, she's making a basket too." It was definitely one of those moments when you tell yourself that you must be doing something right so why make resolutions to change? I'm just going to focus on my strong qualities and just keep getting better in 2001. It feels much better than promising myself to loose weight again this year. Happy New Year! Share your thoughts on our message board or email Maria.
Also see: Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.
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