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Thoughts on MotherhoodBy Maria Bailey Every Wednesday night I sit here at my computer pondering ideas for my weekly diary entry. Unlike most writers struggling with meeting a deadline, I am not searching for an idea to write about. I have just the opposite problem. I have so many things to share with you. It sometimes seems that everywhere I turn, I find a topic for my weekly column. Take this evening for instance. I came home tonight and assumed my regular duties of making lunches for the next day and scrambling to feed younger mouths. My role always includes a fight with one of my four children over why Oreos are not an appetizer. As I reached for a cup from the cabinet, there is was, a topic for my diary. Why is the cup from the Yahtzee game sitting on the shelf among our dishware? There it is, the blue plastic cup that just last night was used to roll five dice onto a game board. In the dark, it could very easily become my juice cup. I could easily ponder a Yahtzee cup in the cabinet for two pages. It would be a great lead into an essay on why a working mother of four learns to accept certain things in the name of maintaining balance. Let it be known...I accept Yahtzee cups in my cabinet but the day I drink a dice, well.... I don't make empty threats. The column I have been planning all day was going to be about what a mother will do for her daughter. I was going to start off like this. It is 39 degrees. Now, if you are in North Dakota this might not seem cold but if you are a native Floridian. It's cold and it's even colder if you are camping outside. Another point to this tale a Northern reader might question is why anyone would plan a camping trip in January. Well, you see it's not normally 39 degrees in Florida in January. In fact today it was 70. It was so cold that a truck brought in a pile of artificial snow for the girls to play in and it didn't melt. (By the way, that's what us Floridians do so our children can experience snow. We have it trucked in.) Unfortunately last Saturday night, the night we had planned for a Brownie troop campout, Florida found itself in a cold wave. Unfortunately, I found myself in a sleeping bag. And did I mention the lack of showers and hot water? Ask my daughter about the weekend and she'll paint a different picture. She'll tell you that her and her mom cuddled together under 5 blankets, shared secrets under the covers, roasted perfectly brown marshmallows and built a killer tepee fire. Give me the cold if I can create those memories for my daughter. My final thought for a column was one describing this time of year. I'm sure you are expecting a topic like New Years resolutions, holiday burnout or starting a new year. No, this time of year is when I write my annual letter to my daughter's birthmother. No one knows this but I've been drafting the letter in my mind for weeks. I think about what I want to tell her about our daughter. What she's learned since last year, her favorite foods and the color of her curls. Although I haven't seen her since the day she gave birth to my daughter, I think of her often. I wish she could see what a beautiful girl she is growing into and how independent she can be although I know that is not possible. I don't really know why it takes me so long to sit down and write the letter. It may be that there is so much to share or it might be that I don't want to forget to tell her something. I only get one chance a year and I certainly want to make sure I give her what she needs to fill her heart. She certainly has helped me fill mine. Women often ask me how it feels to be an adoptive mother particularly since I have biological children too. The irony is I often forget that I am an adoptive mother until their question reminds me. I am a mother in the middle of the night, while I am rushing to get dinner cooked, when I apply band-aids to boo-boos and when I make doctor appointments. I am a mother when my children call me mommy and when I tuck them into bed. I am a mother and that's what gives me so many topics to share with you each week. At this rate, I'll have lots more to share in the future. Share your thoughts on our message board or email Maria.
Also see: Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.
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