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Losing Someone You LoveBy Maria Bailey Death is an amazing experience. It touches us in so many ways, yet until we experience the death of someone close to us, you don't fully understand how it can touch your life. The kind of death I'm referring to isn't like when your grandmother dies although I was very close to mine and miss her even today; it's the death of a parent or child. The latter, I don't even want to imagine and hope I never have to experience. I think it's my greatest fear in life that I could be faced with such a catastrophic event. The death I know all too well came from the death of my stepfather three years ago. It's not fair to refer to him as my stepfather because in his eyes and my heart, the term was only imposed legally on our relationship. He raised me from the time I was six and even my biological father would tell you that he was a great dad. He was only 52 years old when he died after a long battle with cancer. Looking back, I'm fortunate that I had the time to say goodbye and he had the time to tell me how proud he was of the adult I became. You might wonder why I chose to write about death today. Unfortunately, two of my closest friends were touched by the death and pending death of their father this week and I was reminded of the pain I felt when I lost my stepfather. You wonder sometimes if it is it better to have time to say goodbye or is it best for it to be unexpected. One of my friends was told last week that her father most likely only has a few months to live. Another, our own BlueSuitMom.com lifestyle content director, Jorj Morgan, lost her father suddenly last Wednesday. I can assure you that neither one of them will suffer less grief because of the time associated with the departure of their loved one. My own heart breaks that either one of these wonderful people have to suffer from the lost of their fathers. I know the pain all too well. Even today, I long to pick up the phone and tell my dad all about BlueSuitMom.com, or my forthcoming book or how my children are growing each day. I think the hardest part of loosing my father was coming to grips with the fact that he would not touch the lives of my children as he had touched mine. As the years have passed, I've come to realize that he does touch them. It's through the stories and memories I share with them and by exhibiting the parenting skills I learned through his parenting of me. I was reminded of this very important lesson tonight as I hugged Jorj at her father's wake. With tears, in her eyes, she said to me, "I wish you could have known him." Jorj, I do know him! I know him because I know the woman he raised. The one who passionately lives life, who gives without wanting to receive, the one who is determined and the one who parents like a pro. I know what a great man he was because of the great woman he produced. And now it's up to you, like any of us who have lost a loved one, to keep his character alive for future generations by reflecting, sharing and exhibiting the great qualities of his life. Just remember, your BlueSuitMom family is here to help! There is a lesson to us all here. Don't forget to stop long enough this week to tell those you care about how you feel and then go home and hug your children. Share your thoughts on our message board or email Maria.
Also see: Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.
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