Escaping from the Family for an Adventure

By Maria Bailey

This is a story about what happens when a mom allows herself to be guilt-free for a few days. The place is Costa Rica, three thousand miles away from my husband, children and office. It wasn't a random selection of destinations, it was a business trip to a conference but after acquiring the blessing of my husband, I decided to stay an extra night to see the sites. My reasoning of course was if I was going all the way to Costa Rica, I might as well see some of Costa Rica. I knew there would be a price for staying away for extra day. I'd miss my family immensely, I'd have to make an additional day of meals for my family and I'd have to carry the burden of guilt that comes with doing something for yourself.

It didn't take long for the guilt to set in. As often happens, when I 'm leaving on a business trip, one of my children came down with a stomach virus. Now, not only did I have to feel bad about departing on a Saturday when my husband would have to manage without any child care for two days, but he'd be home-bound with a vomiting two-year-old. And then to make sure that the guilt was deeply ingrained in my soul, my six-year-old asked if this would be the last "vacation" I'd ever take again as I kissed him good-bye. I'd like to meet the business traveler who thought delayed flights, crowded planes and cold airport sandwiches was a vacation, but in the eyes of my children, I was going on another vacation. It's no wonder working mothers carry guilt with them. However, I planned to leave mine at the gate. And just to make sure I got it all out of my system before I boarded the plane, I called my girlfriend, Jennifer on my cell phone, and cried to her all the way to the airport. I was determined to enjoy my trip to Costa Rica. I had even packed a fiction paperback rather than my usual trade publications.

A quick nap on the plane helped me forget that I had been up at 4 a.m. calming the fears a nightmare had caused in my daughter. As we touched down, my heart pounded with anticipation for the coming days. The first three days were filled with meetings and social events. And at night I enjoyed the comforts of a queen-size bed absent of a snoring spouse and horizontally positioned five-year old kicking me. I managed to sneak in a trip to the driving range to practice my golf swing and a few hours in the gym as well. A hot bath without children's bath toys greeted me every night. I felt as if I'd returned to my days of single hood. No one to worry about but myself, yet a piece of me seemed to be missing. I called home every night to assure everyone I was doing well and get reports on the day's camp activities. Each call brought about a bit of longing for my family but I was determined to enjoy my days away.

As selfish as it sounds, I couldn't get home, so I might as well make the best of it. My final day in Costa Rica ranks at the top of great experiences. I had scheduled myself on a white raft trip down the Pacuare River. Although I was going by myself, I was certain that I'd meet people on the three-hour bus trip to the mountains. The narrow stone roads into the rainforest were incredible. Not the type of journey one wants to take if you are afraid of heights or are prone to motion sickness. We arrived at the river in the middle of a downpour. I learned that there is a reason for the name, "rain forest." We watched as the river rapidly roared downstream fueled by the rain and everyone questioned our choice of adventures.

The group was divided into rafts. My teammates included; Dan, Patty, Annie, Amy and Michelle and our guide, Ray. We were five strangers about to depend on each other to survive the three-hour, 18-mile trip. It's amazing how close you can become to strangers when your position inside of the raft depends upon their paddling abilities. The trip through the rainforest was spectacular. Toucan birds flew overhead as we passed waterfalls throughout the forest. When the rain ceased, a heavy mist throughout the treetops gave you the feeling that you were paddling through Jurassic Park. There was no place I'd rather be than on that river that day. It was indeed an incredible experience. My newfound friends and I laughed, joked and told stories about ourselves. In less than two hours on the river, we became friends. And on the two occasions when Michelle and Dan were thrown out of the raft into the river, it felt as though a part of the family was in danger. As a team, we all worked to get them back into the boat and shared the pain of their newly acquired bruises. Yes, we were a team and as a team, we all suffered the wrath of the fourth and final Class IV rapid. In a single instance, our raft was overturned. I came up in an air pocket under the over-turned raft. It was by far the scariest experience of my life.

In that instance, the same thoughts I fought for almost three days, came back to me as a source of inspiration. I was not going to let myself drown three thousand miles from my family. I wanted to return to them in one piece and breathing. It was like a scene from a Harrison Ford movie but I quickly took a breath, submerged myself and swam to safety. Shaken but safe again, my teammates and I exchanged our stories of survival as if we'd just look death in the face. Our bond was sealed. And as I drifted down the river in calmer waters, I thought of my children and husband back home. It had been a fantastic journey and I had re-lived what I carried in my mind "as the good old days" when I was single and adventurous. My days of hot baths, uninterrupted meals and unscheduled activities were fun but I realized my days weren't complete without the warm hugs of my children and the gentle kiss of my husband.

Perhaps we carry a little bit of guilt around to remind us of what really matters in our lives in the event we decide to become youthfully reckless again. After all, I'd take floating on a raft in a swimming pool with my kids anyday over the underside of a raft in the Pacuare River.

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Also see:
• Week Forty -- Sometimes we need a break
• Week Thirty-Nine -- Summer camps
• Week Thirty-Eight -- The teachers that shape our lives
• Week Thirty-Seven -- Reuniting with old friends
• Week Thirty-Six -- Tips for managing a large family
• Week Thirty-Five --Fulfilling my dreams
• Week Thirty-Four --Parenting approaches
• Week Thirty-Three -- Combining a business trip with spring break
• Week Thirty-Two -- Making Spring Break plans
• Week Thirty-One -- Importance of a Support System
• Week Thirty -- Life is good
• Week Twenty-nine -- My nine year anniversary
• Week Twenty-Eight --Does birth order matter?
• Week Twenty-Seven -- Things we take for granted
• Week Twenty-Six -- My youngest turned two
• Week Twenty-Five -- Losing someone you love
• Week Twenty-Four -- Where's the romance in Valentine's Day?
• Week Twenty-Three -- The call I've been waiting for
• Week Twenty-Two -- Where did the weekend go?
• Week Twenty-One -- Business trip challenges
• Week Twenty -- Girl Scout cookie time
• Week Nineteen -- Thoughts on motherhood
• More diary entries

Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.