 |
|
Wow, Nine YearsBy Maria Bailey Today is my wedding anniversary. Wow, nine years. It seems like such a long period of time. I can't think of anything other than trying to loose weight that I have been doing for nine years. I remember when I was single and dating, if you stayed with the same guy for two years it was considered a Herculean feat, and now I can say that I've been married for nine. It's funny how fast it seems to have gone by. It's easy to reflect on all the awesome times that we've had together. Trips to Europe, new homes, career promotions and of course, the greatest product of our years together, four beautiful children. The tough times seem to fade with each passing day, month and year. Ironically they are the events that help you appreciate the good times. Wouldn't it be great if you could look into a crystal ball on the morning of your wedding just so you are prepared for the curve balls life intends to throw you as a married couple. Tim and I have certainly had our fill of hurdles to get over. We spent the first few years struggling with infertility. I am sure Tim never envisioned himself becoming the master of a syringe while he watched me walk down the aisle in my white bridal gown. But, no pun intended, he got really good at it although I know he died inside each time he had to purposely inflict pain on me. Every day, as I saw him cringe as I handed him the syringe, I was reminded of how much he loved me. Later like scared children, we walked down the road of adoption and became parents of our oldest daughter. Just about the time we thought we could take a breath and enjoy becoming parents, we hit a double and gave birth to our son only 5 months and 21 days later. I have to admit that on my wedding day, I had a picture in my mind of Tim and I standing in front of a picket fence with our son and daughter. The only difference was that our picture only three years later included three children all less than 2 years of age. Yes, it was as overwhelming as it sounds. Looking back I can't believe we lived through the experience. I'm not going to lie to you. We felt blessed but we also felt tired, beat up, crazed but too busy to dwell on it. Tim's favorite saying to me during this time was, "sleep is way over-valued and the world is tired." I don't know if he was just trying to make me feel better or thought the power of persuasion would work on me. The situation definitely set a foundation for elements of our marriage today. We managed the work involved in maintaining three babies by dividing up the workload. Toenail clipping, laundry and homework all fall under Tim's category of household tasks while I am responsible for food, dental hygiene and hair. I also assumed majority responsibility for the child who was the youngest at any given time in the history of our rapidly growing family. Each night as we crossed paths in the hallway holding babies, I was reminded of the homerun I hit when I married Tim. On a side note, I still remember the night that we both had a baby in our arms, it was 2 a.m. and suddenly the third one awoke. We looked at each other and at the same time said, "Now what?" "Now what?" came up again three years later when we felt the need for another baby. The question was answered by the adoption of our youngest daughter. Everything is relative but it's ironic how much easier four children under six years was than three under two. We were old pros by this point of our marriage. Reflecting on our professional lives during the past nine years, I realize that I've been laid off twice and twice started my own business. It was during these times that Tim became my cheerleader. No matter how crazy the idea or how time consuming the task, he was always behind me yelling my praise. He's a veracious reader and I have no fewer than a couple hundred articles of inspirations he has cut out and left for me to find either under my pillow, in my suitcase or on top of my desk. I still carry one in my wallet that he gave me when we were trying to get pregnant. It says, "God never gives us more than we can handle." I keep it as a reminder of the challenges we've faced and overcome. I can't tell you how many times I've come home with a new goal and Tim has answered, "Oh, boy!" with a smile on his face. I'm not sure what the response really means but I think it's his way of saying, "okay here we go, Maria is on a mission, I'd best just hold on for the ride." Thank goodness that he is the way he is because I could not have accomplished half of the things I have without him behind me. Whether it's been, "I'm going to run a marathon," or "I'm going to write a book," Tim has been there picking up the slack at home and cheering me on. Now don't get me wrong. There have been times in the last nine years when I thought I'd kill him or wondered if I could sleep in the guest room for the rest of our married life. But I think that's normal and please don't tell me if it isn't. I'm better off not knowing. Like everyone, we get caught up in the day-to-day operations of our children, household and careers. It's difficult to have the energy to catch up at night although we know it's just as important as all the other issues we deal with throughout the day. But isn't it nice that we have one day a year that we can devote to reflecting on our marriage and spouse. I'm going to make a point to carry a few minutes of today into my tomorrows so that in another nine years I can feel as happy with Tim as I am today. Happy Anniversary Honey! Have a great week! Share your thoughts on our message board or email Maria.
Also see: Maria Bailey is the CEO and founder of BlueSuitMom.com and a mother of four children under the age of seven.
|
|
|